Picture the scene. It was August 2005, I was solo travelling in Sinai, Egypt, and I just met the man I was going to marry. When we first met, we were inseparable! We’d stay up all night chatting, there was always more to say, and we did everything together. We were each other’s everything!
Yep, as cliched as it sounds, that whirlwind romance became a turning point that changed the trajectory of my life. Fast-forward 14 years and despite all the odds, my love and I have three children and 13 years of marriage under our belt.
But it’s not all been a fairytale!
Relationships are HARD!
When you’re past that honeymoon period, boy does it get tough – especially when children come along [they don’t tell you that, do they!] Suddenly, you don’t have eyes for each other alone. Instead, small people become the center of your universe, and your one-to-one time alone takes a hit!
But that’s not all… away from the sea air, desert views, and diving during that summer in Dahab, is ‘real-life’! Back in the UK, we had work, day-to-day chores, and all kinds of priorities demanding our attention.
With so many things competing for your attention, energy, and time, it’s all too easy to stop talking with your partner.
Then before you know it you’re drifting apart 🙁
Of course, you don’t intend to get to this place. Instead, you just don’t have the energy. You convince yourself there’s always tomorrow to make more effort, but familiarity breeds complacency. Days merge into weeks, and with hindsight, you can see you’ve made the fatal mistake of forgetting that relationships [along with everything else you care about] NEED WORK!
Here’s the weird thing…
We think nothing about investing in courses and tools that help us build our business, crush our career, or close the gaps in our skills. But when it comes to relationships, it somehow feels odd to admit you may need to create rituals or routines that keep your love healthy.
Surely if you really love each other, your relationship should get better and better without any intervention?
The passing of time changes us. We grow and evolve through life’s triumphs and challenges. In other words, you’re not the person you were when you first met your partner.
In short, if you want to grow together, you have to proactively create routines and habits that keep things fresh, alive, and exciting – otherwise, you’ll drift apart.
And one of THE most important things you can do to strengthen your love [or rekindle a stale relationship] is to talk.
I’m not talking about chit-chat or surface-level chatter.
I’m talking about the deep, meaningful conversations that cultivate connection, demand vulnerability, and encourage you to reveal more of yourself to the one you love.
And if you keep reading, I’ll show you the EASIEST, most fun, and most non-intrusive way to do it 🙂
Enter Prompt Decks…
This summer, my family and I spent three weeks in Spain.
It was lush 🙂
We slept in this lovely log cabin by the most beautiful lake. The weather was warm, the kids could roam free, and we spent stacks on time wild swimming and paddleboarding.
Phones were off, and the TV wasn’t an attraction. Instead, my husband and I spend the evenings sat on the porch, soaking up the atmosphere and…
This is an activity we hadn’t done enough in recent times. We’d got so distracted by so many other demands and pressures; we’d fallen into the dreaded small talk habit.
It’s why I packed the Icebreaker Deck in my suitcase. This Discovery Deck contains 150 conversation cards divided into six categories: Life, Random, Deep, Experiences, If you could..? Would you rather…?
Every evening, we’d take the Deck outside and use it to spark a conversation.
The pattern was always the same…
The first couple cards generated short answers and soundbites – and then we’d hit on a question that opened a door into this entirely new space.
I remember there was one question in particular that kick-started a conversation that went on for hours about literally everything. We spoke about life, our plans for the future, our desires, where we felt stuck, what we wanted to transform – you name it.
We hadn’t spoken like this in a very long time. It makes me tear up as I think about it now. It’s hard to express in words how incredible it felt to experience that deep connection with my husband again.
I discovered things about him I didn’t know. I realized we had things in common that I thought only interested me. I noticed topics where we were so aligned and in tune, it brought tears to my eyes.
It was the highlight of our vacation…
And it was only possible because we proactively made an effort to stimulate deep conversation.
My kids love it too!
But it didn’t stop there…
If you have kids [or you’re a sibling yourself], you’ll know that life isn’t always harmonious! Instead, there are times of bickering and arguing – especially when squashed in the back of the car!
I wouldn’t say the Icebreaker Deck was a lifesaver, but it did help – a LOT!
My children really, REALLY enjoyed asking questions [although deciding who would hold the cards did raise the blood pressure a little!]
It was so beautiful to hear the resulting conversation.
My husband and I got to share more with our children – and we got to hear their opinions and thoughts on things I just wouldn’t have thought to ask about. We shared stories of our childhood, things we wanted out of life, experiences, memories, beliefs etc. Somehow, that Deck brought us all a little closer together.
And it doesn’t stop there…
Decks for everyday life
I’ve got the full set of BestSelf Discovery Decks. They sit on our kitchen table so anyone can use them at any time.
I love that when boredom creeps in or when we get pulled back into unhelpful habits, those decks are a trigger to create something different.
They get us talking.
They ‘force’ us to connect, to share more about who we are, and to ask meaningful questions that actually go somewhere.
But not only that, because they’re a physical product, they also provide that much-needed respite and detox from digital media and tools.
Conversation can be a remedy for so many things. It makes us feel connected, it fuels self-expression, and it can lead to the support and accountability we need to live our best lives.
It’s something we can all do… but also something we can get lazy about.
Nowadays, it’s all too easy to get lost in your phone. It’s so easy to get pulled away from the people standing in front of you when notifications are whizzing off, and you feel strangely compelled to know what’s happening on social media, in the news, or in the next installment of your favorite boxset!
Tech is designed to be irresistible. It’s engineered to suck you in and hold you tight! It’s programed to give you that dopamine hit, so you keep coming back for more.
Don’t get me wrong; I wouldn’t want to go back to the pre-internet days. That said, it’s vital to have strategies that keep you rooted in what’s ‘real’. BestSelf Discovery Decks are one of those easy-to-use tools that achieve just that.
How To Use Your BestSelf Decks
I’m grateful to have daily access to my set of decks. I’ve found there’s no right or wrong way to use them. Instead, they fit into your life – any way you want. Here are some examples of how we’ve used them:
- 10-minute ritual – ask questions for 10 minutes and see where it leads
- To kick-start child-free time – the new Intimacy Deck will make this a lot more interesting!
- Over dinner – so we can move beyond the obvious “how was your day?”
- While travelling – it’s highly recommended!
- As a game with my parents – my children LOVED learning more about their grandparents
- To change your mood and get out of a funk – because questions change your focus
Anything goes 🙂
And now it’s your turn…
How could you incorporate BestSelf Discovery Decks in your life to spark more conversation, connection, and creativity?
There’s only one way to find out! Grab some Decks today and make them part of your everyday life. Just 10-minutes a day with one of the decks, could inspire some pretty transformative results.
I’m excited to hear about what opens up for you when add decks to your best self toolbox.