Subverting 3 Social Constructs Destroying Your Self-Worth

Change your mindset and break through barriers!

Subversion of ideas is a powerful tool we can use to turn a negative into a positive in almost every situation. When it comes to self-worth and confidence this can be a monumentally beneficial and imperative practice. The social landscape we live in is littered with confidence destroying landmines from social media sites to youtube, and everything in between. The ability for anyone to tear us down with various degrees of anonymity is higher than ever. To combat this some of the worst social faux pas have evolved in a way that allows them to be more healthy and even absolute necessities for maintaining balance in the world today.

Ego is the Enemy but Achievements are Best Friends

Achievements are now more important than experience in many circles.  Whether it’s in the workforce, with friends, or in relationships- responsibilities are no longer so clearly defined. Instead, as the popular expression goes we all wear “many hats”. Meaning anything goes and all that really matters is results. We live in a time when we can find anything we need to get something done, for free online or for cheap. Specialty skills are still valued but more and more the ability to quickly learn a new skill and apply it, trumps all. This has lead to the trend we see, where the most relationship building information you can share is your achievements.

This turns the aversion of ego on its head as our ability to tout our achievements can be the difference between getting the job, making the friend, or helping someone in need. Achievements are what give us an air of authority in someone else’s mind. Today’s environment values titles less and less, moving the perception of what provides value towards those who don’t just problem-solve, but problem-find.

We shouldn’t let this get us down though! Removing titles is such an empowering transition for society! It shows we can recognize that knowledge or at least the acquisition of knowledge is becoming a universal commodity. The bottom line is that now more than ever, we can be whatever we want to be. The phrase “If you can think it, you can do it.” is not just something we tell to our kids to bolster their confidence. It a pure and powerful truth. That can make all the difference in your life if you sit down to pursue what you really want.

Grab your Journal!

  1. What do you want to do? No limits!
  2. Ask yourself. What have you done?
  3. Now, look up what it takes to accomplish one of your top items on the first list.
    • How much of what you’ve already achieved can be applied to this what you want?
  4. Make a list of the achievements you have left to fill in so you can get what you want.
  5. Take charge! Get out there and build out a goal to move you towards your desired achievement!

Nothing can stop you, but you! Forget about the requirements someone laid down decades ago as a gated entry to what you really want. They no longer exist! Tout your achievements, and you will go far!


Vanity doesn’t Satisfy but Personal Truth Boosts

Self-affirmations have become a necessity for anyone making their way through social structures. Personal branding continues to grow as one of the most powerful forms of advertising, no matter the type of business, a non-profit organization, or government agency.  We are drawn to the pure influence of seeing everyday people we can connect with or aspire to be.

To tap into these incredibly powerful forms of growth for ourselves, our businesses, and our dreams we embrace vanity. From selfies, to live streams we open ourselves and our lives up to millions of people with a few snaps and clicks. We can with a single interaction encourage, and inspire someone all the way around the planet in an instant! Even for ourselves, taking just a little bit of time to build ourselves up is proven to create a higher resilience to difficult and stressful situations.

The truth is, this has opened up so many doors for people to live the kind of lives they never could before. From artists to clothing designers, crafters, and everything in between personal brands have empowered uncountable people to do what they love every day without adhering to any rules but their own. Affirmations for their part have been studied and proven to change the way we perceive ourselves. They build up our confidence and in doing so help us deal with the difficult things life can throw at us.

Grab your Journal!

  1. List out some positives about yourself, and don’t be afraid to be a little vain!
  2. Write down a list of positives you want to be true for yourself. No limits!
  3. Schedule time in your morning routine to review these positives. If you say them out loud, even better!
  4. Schedule in activities that will make the positives you want to be true to yourself real.

Who you are is unique to you, and no one can truly define who you are but yourself. Don’t let your self-perceptions be controlled by an external force. Instead, own yourself by being the first person who gets to tell you who you are every morning!


Selfishness breeds Loneliness but without Self-Care, we’re Lost

Self-care is a critical activity we should engage in during the day. Our time is split between two forms of contribution. One that is in service to others- these are our communications, our efforts at work, or taking care of the kids. The other is in service to ourselves- those are eating, exercising, intentionally breathing, and just taking a quiet moment to appreciate what we have. We need both to truly thrive!

As with all things, a balance must be met. We cannot be completely selfless. If we are, we will find ourselves used up. Sometimes even abused for our giving nature. Yet, we can’t be completely selfish either, if we are then we push away those we care about most. We have to fill ourselves up before we can make a contribution to others. We have to take care of ourselves because if we don’t then our contributions come from a place of emptiness. This will make them subpar and in some cases even detrimental to our ability to serve at a level that will make a real difference.

It’s an incredible time to be alive! A time when we are seeing so many social constructs be deconstructed. Allowing for exciting new structures to rise in their place. Individuals are empowered to learn complex skills, make connections with communities, and chase their dreams like never before. There’s a new societal renaissance happening around us every day and it includes everything from- music, art, business, communication, health, education, self-enlightenment, even reality itself with growing virtual reality advances! With so much possible to contribute to we have to selfishly take some time for ourselves or the result is total burnout.

Grab your Journal!

  1. Make a list of all the things you do to contribute to the efforts of a group or others around you.
  2. Make a list of all the things you do to contribute and care for yourself.
  3. Check in with yourself. How imbalanced is your list? How much burnout do you feel with your list like this?
  4. Make a list of all the things you need to balance yourself out. Make as close to equal contributions to external as internal.
  5. Schedule in the things you need to balance yourself in the day, be selfish and take the time you schedule.

When we reflect on the values we’ve put on pedestals. Question our thought processes and mindsets on what the real benefit of our actions are, what we find is a personal truth. We open ourselves up to possibilities and our contributions become even more significant because we have more to give. Self-care is the fuel we need to be giving machines!


The question- Who are you?

It’s never been more important or life-impacting as it is today to know who you are. It is the key to finding your passions, connecting with a community that will support you, that will give you a real and lasting sense of fulfillment and contribution. To truly find the answer to this question. You have to be a little selfish and engage in some real, honest, and revitalizing self-care. You have to be a little vain and believe in yourself. To lift yourself up and be a little egotistical so people know what you’re capable of. You do this so you can find yourself. Because when you do that! This crazy world we live in starts to make a lot more sense. Take it from Jessica, she can do anything better than anyone.


Check out these posts! They will guide you to the real positive change you need.